Thursday, May 31, 2007

Betime Reading

Try telling this one "no" to yet another book before bed...

To Kill A Dust Mite

Cookie has now finished two rounds of Omnicef, 2 shots, and now on a round of a combination sulfur drug for an ear infection that will not go away. It has now been two months that she has had the same ear infection.

On Tuesday, we went to an ENT who specializes in chronic ear infections. (There are only 35 pediatric ENTs in the country, and there are NONE in the state of KY.) So we went to the best we have in town. He was extremely professional, and described the risks of continuing with antibiotic therapy, as well as the risks of the next treatment to consider - surgery for placement of tubes. The risks of surgery, and the relative ineffectiveness of it scare me. Of course, the risks of scaring and hearing loss of constant infections, or the development of antibiotic resistance scares me as well. Tube placement does not eliminate the possibility of future infections. It merely seeks to prevent the common breeding ground, which is the fluid in the Eustachian tubes. He put it this way:

Imagine your garage is full of gasoline-soaked rags. That would definitely put you at great risk of a house fire. Take away the rags, and you take much of the risk. But you can't completely prevent a house fire altogether. And that's the common misconception of parents who come in almost demanding ear tube placements. They think it is a miracle cure. We could go through this, and she could still have chronic ear infections. It's all one big risk. It is surgery, no matter how you look at it. It involves putting a tiny child under. It scares me to death. I waited so long for this precious child, and the risk of anything happening to her is unthinkable.

Still, I know it may very well be what we must do for her best interest.

We go back on the 5th to see if her infection is gone enough to actually schedule surgery. We also have the option of waiting and watching, and only choosing surgery if the infection comes back again, even after this sulfur drug treatment.

Allergy testing is not an option, because even if a battery of tests would reveal something now, in about 4-6 months, her quickly developing immune system would have changed again. The doctor recommended we not do testing, as it would be unnecessary stress for her. His one big recommendation was to see if we can avoid having her in daycare. Um, no can do doc. Thanks. Anyway, there are just as many SAHMs and SAHDs whose kids get ear infections than ones at daycare.

In the meantime, I am on a mission.

I have allergies. I know this. I take Claritin, Singulair, Nasacort, Patanol, and use a saline spray every day just to avoid getting more frequent sinus infections. Yet I do stupid things. See, I had these pillows that I loved to sleep with. They were so old I am embarrassed to even admit it. I had put them in thick slipcovers just to try to convince myself it was OK. Then at the doctor's office I read about dust mites. Um, it is likely that the weight of my old pillows was now at least 10% dust mites and droppings.

So, I threw them away yesterday and bought new pillows and allergy and anti-dust mite covers for them. I bought a new zippered cover for the mattress as well as a new washable mattress pad. I sprayed everything with an anti-dust mite spray. I don't know if it will do a lick of good. I did not sleep well without my favorite pillows. *sniff sniff*

Still, do you know how flippin' hard it is to maneuver a king-sized mattress BY YOURSELF? I feel like an idiot. The mattress is all sprayed and leaning against the wall. The dust-ruffle is gone (just the word "dust ruffle" should have clued me in that this was not good for someone like me and Cookie). I had hoped to finish all this before Michael got home and we went to pick up the Cookie. But alas, I got so exhausted, I decided to blog about it instead of actually finishing the project. This is the story of my life.

Anyone else have any recommendations for getting rid of dust mites?

On the job front, I picked up 2 classes to teach at the community college this fall. One may not make, but the other likely will. So, I'll have my night class at the university to teach as well as at least one at the community college. That will at least pay the mortgage. This is good news. So, if I don't end up finding full-time work, I'll at least be able to contribute to the household and keep my finger in the working-class pot. Adjuncts don't make much money, but it will be a little to keep us afloat.

It's been a nice day here alone in the house. I have no regrets, and that feels awesome.

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Reasons to Praise God

The very day I resigned from my job, my husband took our Camry in to the dealership (against my wishes, because I think they charge outrageous amounts) because the "check engine" light was on. I also thought I heard some squealing that was most likely a loose/old belt. Well, come to find out, the car needed a new CATALYTIC CONVERTER. Now, I do not know what one of those is. I won't even pretend to know. And the car had JUST turned 5 years old, and had 80,200 miles on it. We were 200 miles over the warranty. And guess what? They honored the warranty. How much did we have to pay for new fancy-car-part? Nada. Zip. Zilch. Praise God!

Later in the week last week, I got a letter from the Cabinet about needing to renew our contract for our adoption subsidy for Cookie. No problem there. There was paperwork to fill out and we have to attach last year's tax information. Then there was the cover letter I almost failed to read had it not been for the bold faced type in paragraph two that read as follows: We are also pleased to inform you that the per diem rate of the adoption subsidy has been raised by three dollars a day. Come again? I took a second and third look. My mouth hung open in shock. Michael sat across from me in the livingroom - and my friend Megan sat next to me. I handed her the letter saying "you won't believe me if I read it to you - you have to see for yourself". SHE then had to hand it to Michael to read for himself. Then HE sat there and his jaw dropped. "That's an extra $90 a month!", he proclaimed. "Yup. Thank You Jesus!", I proclaimed.

I quit my job. It's what I was supposed to do. And God has found many, many ways of reminding me that He's got our backs.

Here's what Cookie thinks of all this:

Monday, May 21, 2007

Bathroom Antics

My child just tried to wipe me while I was on the commode. She grabbed some toilet paper, wadded it up, and then stuck it between my legs! I had to thank her nicely for helping, but assure her that I had that all taken care of! Oh mercy, I can't stop laughing. It may be time to start early potty training.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

No Pedicure For Me

Cookie just stole my toe separator thingys. I had really cute ones with smiley faces for the separators. When I found her she was in the process of biting each of the heads off and spitting them out onto the floor. The floor was covered with tiny orange smiley heads all covered in saliva. I guess she was saying "Have a nice day!"

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Happy 36th To Me!

The sun has been shining extra bright this weekend - or at least now I notice it. For my 36th birthday today, I am newly unemployed. But I got up and had scrambled eggs with my beautiful daughter and sexy husband, played around the house a while, made a Home Depot run, picked up a birthday ice-cream cake and Penn Station subs for lunch, napped with my daughter and husband, got up and mulched every area in the yard that needed it, and came back inside just in time to watch the Preakness (and I don't even get horse racing, yet live in KY - go figure).

It has been the most wonderful birthday I can remember. I am so blessed.

I am still scared about finding a job, but we have already emailed friends and begun reaching out into our respective networks and asking people to help us. We are convinced that if we just let God direct us, we will find what it is I am supposed to do next.

My situation is not that unfamiliar. After we got married (we we living 3 states apart), I quit my job and moved to KY that June. I did not get my new job until December, yet I had faith. Funny thing is that I was not afraid then, yet I am now. But then I only had rent to pay, and only myself and my new husband to worry about. Now I have Cookie, and her future is foremost in my mind.

Meanwhile, I'm in a new year of life, and I sense the renewal and awakenings already. Some of the old that is broken I don't even want to piece back together. I'd rather many of the pieces simply turn to dust of the past. I walked away. Actually, I ran. Now, I'm resting and gearing up for all God has in store for the next 36 years, if He's willing to bless me with them. Bring it on!

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Why I'm Here

I resigned from my job today (as opposed to waiting to be fired for questionable reasons). I hated that job for 2 1/2 years. I hated everything about it, but it was a good paycheck. TPTB (The Powers That Be) found my blog after I emailed select co-workers pictures of my child from my blog. Certain co-workers assumed that all of the posts from the last two years of my blog had been written at work. Anyone who blogs knows you can write at any time and even post from your cell phone (which I have done and still do). Anyone with half a brain also understands that the time of a post does not mean that's when the post was written. In fact, my previous blog was full of posts I had saved as drafts but never posted - either because I wasn't pleased with the quality, or it ended up being too personal, or because I never got around to finishing the ramblings I had started.

TPTB came into a meeting with me (that had been set for a week but that they refused to tell me what it was about) and had printed out my ENTIRE blog and apparently read most of it as well. These were intimate posts written about my diagnosis of PCOS, infertility, marital problems resulting from it, our decision to become foster-to-adopt parents, and posts about every child that came and went from our home. It detailed steps in my child's development (that child is now almost 17 months old), and frustrations of having her 15 months before her adoption from foster care was final. And there were posts in which I ranted about co-workers I did not care for, and my evil interpersonally inept boss. It was all laid before me. (In retrospect, I was rather proud to see it all printed out and the massive volume I had produced in a little over two years. In a way, I felt I had almost written my book.)

That happened today at 3:30. I already had my resignation letter printed out in triplicate. For some reason, I knew today would be the day I quit. Their mission to uncover everything they could use as ammunition sealed the deal, and I gave them the letter and resigned and offered 30 days. They chose not to take the 30 days.

As soon I as got home, I tried to log on to my campus email, but my account access had already been removed. I was treated as if I were a criminal (more on details of that later).

I am now unemployed. I have an MA, a child, a mortgage, college debt - and no job.

Yet, for some reason I am OK.

My husband was amazing.

He picked me up from work as I was too emotional to drive, and he said it was all fine. He didn't even look worried. We had already talked about it, and he knew I might resign anyway. He just didn't know that the evil people I worked with were so truly evil. I never had a bad review, and I always completed my work. Yet, I blogged on "the university computer". Bad, bad woman.

Actually, I blogged a lot at lunch and on breaks, at home, and on weekends. I wrote a lot on my own and simply hit "publish" at random times when I was at work. I couldn't have possibly done my job as efficiently as I did and write the volumes I had written.

Hopefully, I can transfer the previous posts from that blog over here so I still have everything in one place. Anyone know how to do that?? Julie - didn't you do that once?

So, it will be a while before I use names again, and once I get everyone over here and all my cool stuff I like, I'll just delete the old blog.

As an aside, I kinda think it's cool that if my boss read every post, that she got to read a post about how much I hate her. That is poetic justice. I always wanted to tell her I hated her. I think now she knows. She is a vile, evil woman.

Friends, I need your prayers to find work. It doesn't have to be my dream job, but I need to contribute to the family. I will work hard to make that happen. I just hope God has a plan for this next phase in life because I just really took a leap of faith.

I love you all. Thanks for coming along for this next phase of my journey.