Sunday, June 29, 2008

In Response to Anonymous

I got this from an anonymous commenter regarding the fact that I was upset about the SW giving Cookie and Bit's biomom pictures:

I'm going to be the wicked bitch here and ask what's the big deal with showing the bio-mom some pictures? Do you REALLY think (honestly now) that she's going to take those pictures and use them to track you down/hurt you from behind jail or once she gets out? Did you ever think that maybe seeing those pictures gave the mom some closure/peace of mind that the girls were well loved and being taken care of? Birthmoms (whether they choose to be them or not) sometimes can "close chapters" easier knowing that their children are safe and well loved/taken care of, then by them just disappearing off the face of the world and wondering every time a child that matches the age and description of the child they lost comes across the news as raped/murdered/abused... Cmon now. Get a grip and stop being such an ass. You have the children, she doesn't. I KNOW that showing her a few pictures isn't going to change that fact, and quite honestly, it sounds like you are just another power-tripping power hungry adoptive mom who is standing on the mountain stop screaming MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE. Get over it lady.

Allow me to clarify. Yes, I am standing on the mountaintop screaming MINE!! Their birthmother was a crack whore who damn near killed her unborn children, abused other children within an inch of their life and scarred them for life. Yes, now they are MINE. She will spend another two years behind bars. She should spend the rest of her life for what she did to FOUR HELPLESS CHILDREN.

As for the Social Worker, she did not have my PERMISSION to do what she did. Maybe I would have granted it, maybe not. My point was, she didn't ask, and it was not her place to do what she did. She hadn't "found peace or closure" with three prior involuntary terminations behind her, and despite her incarceration and cocaine problem, would not voluntarily terminate this time. Doesn't sound like someone in search of peace or closure to me. Doesn't sound like someone who cares about the well-being of ANY child.

Don't think you know my story very well, or that of my children.

And if you had any balls, you self-righteous prick, then show your name instead of hiding behind "anonymous".

Anyone care to comment in response? Bring it on!

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Presentation Summary Approved

Our presentation summary is now approved and ready for us to sign. Our adoption worker will come out next week so we can sign that and she can start to get our contracts together. Yippie!! Now I really need to get on the ball and call our attorney!

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

A Lovely Meeting

Our meeting with K, our adoption worker, went well as expected. It was lovely to see her again, and celebrate another adoption about to be completed. We learned that our presentation summary was completed and submitted for approval, so we are now just waiting for that to be finished by the powers that be at the Cabinet, and we will sign and be official pre-adoptive parents.

I'll be talking to our attorney sometime tomorrow (I teach my first day of summer class tomorrow, so I may be pushing it) or the next day. She will send her "fee letter" to our adoption worker, and she will also appoint our Guardian Ad Litem (who represents Bit-Bit in documentation and in court). We are hoping to get the same Guardian Ad Litem appointed that Cookie had - she is herself an adoptive mom, and she understands the need to write and submit her report quickly. For example, with Cookie's adoption, she wrote and submitted her report all within a week's time, and I think by law she could take 30 (or may be 90??) days. So, we are hoping for her again.

K. is hoping we will be able to finalize the adoption by October. That would be fabulous. Hey, if it happens by the end of 08 I'll be thrilled - who we kiddin' anyway??

Oh, and Bit-Bit's old social worker resigned.

And I want to share something else here - a wonderful man who was in our old Sunday School class works with the Cabinet, and were it not for us knowing him and his wife, and knowing the kind of honesty and trustworthiness he and his wife had, I wouldn't have had nearly the bravery I had to talk to supervisors about our issues. Because God put them in our lives about 3 years ago, we had people in our church family who fully understood our fostering to adopt process, and someone we could finally tell about our predicament. So, S. D. ... we are so blessed God put you in our lives. If we hadn't been able to talk to you both, I don't know if fear would have prevented us from being able to really tell what had happened. And now no other family has to be disrespected or have their privacy violated in the same way again. I'm so grateful.

I also forgot to add that old social worker gave pictures of Cookie to birthmom at court in April, even though the adoption was CLOSED and SEALED over a year ago. And, of course, that was done WITHOUT MY BLEEPIN' PERMISSION!! Ugh!! I would not have allowed that. She also gave her pictures of Bit-Bit and the girls together that I had given to her to "show the judge". I think she knew all along she was going to give them to biomom. Dang.

Well, all is well now that we are with K. and on our way to adoption-land again. I feel like everyone from here on out can be trusted, and that is a really comforting feeling.

Praise God for friends, for great adoption workers, for our girls, and for a FL summer vacation we just booked. Praise God for grandparents and potential date nights without having to shell out for a babysitter. :)

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Adoption Worker Assigned!

On the 17th, we will be meeting with the adoption worker who will be conducting Bit-Bit's adoption. K. is the same worker who handled Cookie's adoption, too, so we are blessed to have her back again.

The news of getting an adoption worker is likely sudden here on the blog, and for good reason. We had problems with Bit-Bit's social worker. She engaged first in inconsiderate practices (not calling to tell us the results of the TPR hearing, etc.), then inappropriate practices (telling us the baby did not have to be present, but that she would "call it a home visit" anyway, showing up on the last day of the month at 6:00 for her home visit, cancellations galore, 5-minute home visits), the unethical/illegal (giving us a copy of another child's presentation summary, asking us to write up all the documentation and paperwork that it is HER job to write, no family team meetings held EVER, and not communicating anything with our other workers, and on her last home visit we were convinced she was drunk or on drugs). The giving out of confidential and sealed documents lead us to report her to the cabinet.

We were terrified to report this. All we wanted was our daughter, and we would put up with anything, and do whatever we were asked to get her forever and be done with all this. But when it came to unethical and illegal behaviors, that did it. We had no real choice.

I had a meeting with 2 big-time supervisors in private, and it was very professional. They apologized on behalf of the cabinet. They promised me that by the morning we would be assigned the adoption worker OF OUR CHOICE, and never ever have to see or speak to our old worker again. They were grateful and appreciative of my bravery, and both agreed to do everything they could to expedite our adoption from here on out.

That promise was fulfilled, and our adoption worker has already contacted us and scheduled her visit for the 17th, will have our things to sign, and perhaps even our presentation summary. She estimates we will be done in 4 months.

See, you are eventually rewarded when you do the right thing. It was still hard. But yet it was also very easy. The worker should be terminated for what she did. It was egregious, and when she did those things, she always said "I'm not supposed to do this, but...". Dang it, then DON'T. *sigh*

Well, Bit-Bit will soon officially be Rebekah Ileana Ourlastname. Funny, it has felt that way for at least 10 months already. From here on out, it will be smooth sailing. We have the best worker, the best judge, and the best kid-os. Have I mentioned lately how GOOD GOD IS? ALL THE TIME!

Friday, June 6, 2008

The Bargain Pimp-ette Strikes Again!

So, yesterday afternoon, I managed to buy Bit-Bit 7 (yes, SEVEN) brand new bathing suits for 7 (yes, SEVEN) dollars. How did I pull that off? With a little help from my friendly neighborhood Dollar Tree! Yup, I had seen some folks selling these brand-new bathing suits on ebay and I googled the name brand. Well, I came across a mommy message board that was saying that Max Grey was the "brand" of swimsuits that Dollar Tree had gotten in.

I was pleasantly surprised to find they were really cute! They had sizes 6-12 mo, 12-18mo., and 18-24 mo. The 6-12 mo ended up being a little small for Bit-Bit as she is 10 months old now, but the 12-18 month ones were perfect - and so cute! She wore the first one last night.

They didn't have any larger sizes, but man...7 swimsuits for $7. Yeah, I'm thrilled.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Got Swimsuits for Baby Girls, Anyone?

We're doing "Parent & Me" swim lessons this summer with the girls (all 4 2-week sessions if we can swing it). The only "problem" is that it's Monday THROUGH Friday (every week night) and that's a lot of bathing suits unless I do laundry each night. Cookie has 4 bathing suits, but Bit-Bit only has 2.

If anyone has size 12 month bathing suits for a girl you want to sell me, I have a paypal account!!

I'd also buy size 3T for the Cookie.

I'm not so cheap that I can't buy them new stuff (I do, really.) I just hate to buy so many new ones at full price that they'll only wear for 2 months.

Swimsuits, anyone?