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Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Oh, Great

Honey Bun's alleged biodad had contacted the county attorney's office to get set up to prove paternity. If he is the biological father, it will open up all kinds of potential for Honey Bun to be placed with any member of his family - even if he isn't a fit parent. My heart just stopped beating for a while.

She's been assigned her new worker - but I only learned THAT and the news above because I CALLED the supervisor. I hate that. I just hate it.

Update: It's midnight Tuesday night/Wed. morning. I can't sleep. I came home from teaching today and spilled my heart to Michael, who listened patiently while the girls were asleep. I cried. This is the first time I have cried in fear of loosing this child. I cried with Cookie's case, but there was a lot then that I didn't know. I feel wiser now, and more jaded. Michael feels very confident that Honey Bun isn't going anywhere - ever. I wish I felt that confident and calm.

When Honey Bun woke up at 10 tonight I fed her a fresh warm bottle, and she never took those huge grey-blue eyes off my face. She feels as if she came from my body in the same way Cookie feels that way to me.

Each morning Cookie runs into the nursery and sticks her hand through the bars of the crib to grab her sister's tiny hand. She usually cheerfully (and loudly) announces "Hi Sissy!" and grins the biggest grin. I can't imagine that not being there.

This is the hardest job I have ever had. Yet, ironically, it is the best as well.

13 comments:

Julie said...

I am sooooo sorry! this sucks!! Prayers for you all!!! God is in control!!! He will protect! Hang in there!

FosterAbba said...

Dealing with DSS just sucks, no matter how you slice it.

I'm sorry.

MJ said...

Is it wrong to hope he doesnt prove paternity???

Im so sorry.

Amanda said...

So sorry. This sucks.

Darla said...

Hang in there, try not to get to discouraged. I to was in your shoes. After testing 5 guys, they finally found dad... Dad decided he was going to fight for him.. He hired an attorney, made 1 visitation, and has never been heard from again. The dad's mom (grandma of my son) was going to fight too... They lost all rights, thought we were thru the woods found out dad was part indian... My son had enough Indian in him that the tribe had rights to him too....
Lots of prayers & he is now mine & has been for 4 yrs... Hang in there.. my thoughts & prayers go out to you.... No one knows what it's like to nuture/raise a child & then risk losing them....unless you've been there.

Robin said...

You and your family will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. I can't imagine how ou must feel right now.

Marthavmuffin said...

Oh dear, this kind of thing makes fostering to adopt a very difficult process. Our birthfather threatened to want a paternity test, but it seemed to be a stalling technique and he never formally asked for one, although we was still muttering about at when we gathered for the first of the TPR dates. They also requested a homestudy on relatives on both sides and neither one was found to be a fit home for our baby. We finalized in August and I truly believe we were meant to parent our Jamie girl.

happyadoptingmom said...

I do not understand but can his family get the child over being placed with a sibling? I thought keeping siblings together that have lived together and were bonded was more important than some relative that has never even met the baby. I am sorry you are going through this. We had a grandma step up and want our baby after 6 months but she backed out when she saw how bonded he was to us. Praying your whole family can stay together.

Overwhelmed! said...

Oh, I'm really sorry to hear this. How scary for your family. I'm offering up prayers for you all now! Keep us posted, okay?

Julie said...

T- I am praying for a peace that passes all understanding for you- it is so insane right now- and God knows the plan- we just have to trust Him! Hb is where she needs to be. Cookie needs her- You need her and most importantly- She needs ya'll!! Keep your eyes on Him- He will give you peace!

J. Pannell said...

Yikes! I would hope that a judge would see fit to leave Honey Bun with her biological sister in a proven-to-be stable situation over an iffy one. I'll be praying for you all.

GLouise said...

Praying that the girls will be able to stay together!

Sara said...

I just have a feeling that your family will stay in-tact. My husband says my feelings are always right. :) I cannot even imagine the terror you must be going through, with just the thought of the birth father winning rights--or anyone else for that matter. I will be praying for your family.

Sara